Death, like birth, is natural. Our feelings about it aside, death is not a mistake that can be avoided or an outrage that should be protested. Death is a part of life - it is the last stage of living. By completing the process that began at birth, a person's death makes his life whole.

Our grief at the death of a loved one is also normal and natural. And dealing with the sadness of our loss is also a process - a process that, over time, is ended and made whole. Grief is extremely personal; no two people grieve in the same way and for the same length of time. Different peoples reactions can never be accurately judged or compared.

No matter what our beliefs about an afterlife, there are two unromantic but practical truths that can help anchor us when we are bereaved. One is that the person who is dead has no problems - our problem is our own sense of loss. And the second is that acceptance of death, like acceptance of our past, is the way of the wise.

Wallace Stegner