Forever

 

It doesnĄ¯t bring her back.

Nothing.

 

I miss you more than you would have ever imagined.

I miss the laughter.

I miss the jokes.

            No one else understood the jokes.

            You did. ThatĄ¯s all that mattered.

Now then, why canĄ¯t I understand?

Come back.

Come back.

 

I need you.

How can the person who brought the most laughter and joy to my life not be here?

You were here just two months ago, and before you left I talked to you.

Only six days prior.

What is it?

Why donĄ¯t I understand?

 

The times you visit in my dreams are now what I look forward to the most.

            Those nights are the happiest.

            Now.

Not before.

Before, I knew you were here

            And I loved you.

I loved knowing I could call.

            Whenever I wanted.

Knew you were not far away.

And knew you were coming to see me in just a few days.

What happened?

Where are those days now?

 

Forever unfulfilled.

Forever in my memory.

Forever I will love you.

Forever I will miss you.

Forever.

Forever seems so far.

Forever I will pray to see you again.

Forever.

Forever will you think of me?

            Can you?

            I hope so.

I hope for forever to be quite fast.

            I donĄ¯t think it will be.

I hope anyway.

 

Will you watch me?

Will you stay with me?

Will you visit me, or see me forever?

            Then why canĄ¯t I see you?

 

Life is not fair.

            ThatĄ¯s what they always say.

Then maybeĄ­

Maybe thatĄ¯s why yours is over.

            Over so now you have fair times.

            You know fair and happiness now.

I hope.

            You do.

DonĄ¯t you?

Or why else did you go?

 

Are you laughing now?

            I hope you are.

I heard laughter makes you live longer.

            But not for you.

You laughed everyday.

So where have you gone?

            Why?

But you laughed!

 

What.

What will make it ok?

IĄ¯ve been waiting to know.

I never will.

I miss you.

I need you.

I love you.

I will continue to hope.

            I will.

 

Forever.

 

Lovingly written on April 24, 2008 by Erin Harkness in memory of her cousin Kristin Harkness who passed on February 22, 2008.