A chapter in my life I thought I would never have to write. Life without my beloved son, Joshua. I have to admit I was mad at Bob (our counselor) when he suggested we could be complete again. I have not wanted to think of being complete again, but I realize it’s time to pick up the pieces and “move on”.
Where do I start? Well, I think in knowing that Joshua is happy in heaven and that he and Jesus want us to be happy again. I will miss Josh for the rest of my life and not a day will go by that I don’t, but it’s time to let go of the pain and move forward – he wants that for us.
I want only happiness and joy for Lindsey’s (our daughter) life – she deserves that. I also want to find happiness within myself and with my husband again. When I think of what Josh gave me, I think of love – a tremendous gift that I will always hold close to my heart.
I hope to laugh again and really mean it, to cry less and live again and enjoy it. I feel time will help with all of these things, but I also feel I have to want this and I do – I’m ready.
Jesus did not promise us an easy life, but He promised to be there and He has. I have walked this with Him every step of the way. He gave me a true gift in a little boy names Joshua who has taught me more about love than anybody I have ever known. Nobody has ever loved me the way Josh did and I’m eternally grateful to have known this kind of love because some people never do.
I do believe Lindsey loves me in this way too, but there is nothing like the love between a mother and son – it’s amazing. I’m glad you gave me this gift pea pod.
I can hear you gently saying, “It’s time to move on Mum and it’s okay – that’s my wish for you and I will always be with you, Mum.” I will Josh – always with you in my heart – always. I love you!!
Mum
Written by Carol Plaisted
from York, Maine, for her son Joshua Scott Plaisted who went home to God
on 3/27/00 at 2 years, 8 months and 2 days old.